- Mummy's boys: If you can smell them from a distance, even better. They are capable of growing out only in one place*. Resist the temptations. For long-term benefits and a good peaceful life. For your sake!!
- Loves you, Wont marry: A clever breed who sure knows how to woo a woman. They would do all that's expected of them. But just when you'd be busy fancying colors on your bedroom walls & curtain fabrics; he'd get disabled in head and slip into coma. Morons. Avoid.
- Cant hide & wont express: The weirdest of all, he would be thinking of you day and night and wouldn't shy from telling you so. He would drop hints, but would never go to he extent of making you think he's desperate for you. He plays safe. He would want you to sense his longing and make move. Even more interesting, if you commit that mistake (read sin), he would make you feel indebted to him forever for evening listening to your pining for him. He just needs you to massage his ego & other things. And then, excuse himself. His problem is: I wont do it and you were not supposed to do it. Either way, its a mess.
- All froth, no courage: The guy who would be really sincere, caring, and madly in love. Would call you up at the least expected times and tell you how much you're being missed, and lustily. And the moment, you want to take it next level, he would panic & sweat. Followed by how much he loves you but wont go against his mum/dad/sister/brother/niece/nephew/aunt/uncle/distant aunt/distant uncle/first cousins/second cousins/bla bla bla..and that you'd be the only girl closest to his heart, well only heart!! Coz one taken off-the-shelf from a bride-store would get rest of the carnal pleasures. Don't fall for this trap and hope like fools that one day he will wake up & don his shining armor and horse-on (okay maybe drive down) to your doorstep to make you his bride.
- 'I AM': The one who loves to talk about himself while you wait for him to stop yapping & order a coffee. He would love to boast of his intellectual prowess but when you discuss the recent intelligence agency catch or some forensic stuff you watch, he would take a nano-sec to change the topic. Well, yes. You hit him at the wrong place. He would tell you how his woman should be well-dressed & articulate, but would forget to take a look at himself in the mirror before he left to meet you. Of course, you must look good 24*7 like that thing on wall. He would love to flaunt his watch & shoes with glint in eye and everything would point towards his shallow noveau-rich status. Get up lady. He's futile, for even this planet!!
- Complete Jerks: You would be his life-support system (read emotional, mental, physical, & FINANCIAL support). He would embarrass you with almost everything. Basic etiquette, IQ, EQ, and TQ (tear quotient). You'll be expected to protect him when he's eve-teased. Imagine someone who'd even want to know your investments just over your 1st coffee?? Hold yourself from throwing that hot thing right on his face. Bad behavior is not our style!!
- Gender bender: Yes, he was born with 'schizophrenic symptoms'. And he always hallucinates you as his slave. God kicked him into this world only to be entertained, fed, and taken care of. He doesn't need your money but wont mind it either if you deposit all of it in a joint-account. You must regularly update him on number of lipsticks, shoes, bags etc etc you've in closet and convince him why do you need more. He needs a coffee soon as he gets home, though he would never ask you if you ate well, or slept well. That's your job. Not his. Okay. Now its your turn to kick him out the door.
-Indecisive & confused: Last but not the least on the list of 'Beware/Danger' signs. This guy would know you're exactly his kind and so is he. He loves everything about you. Your lip-shades to the words you use to express. He would never fail to compliment you, make you feel desired, and appreciate you on a task well-done. He would give you equal rights on almost everything and wouldn't like see you sweat alone. Yet he'll never make up his mind and take the next step. At the back of his head, he's wondering if you're the best or there's a princess in a Limo waiting outside for him. Just him. Ofcourse, he'll wait to be doomed. And then, spend rest of life with some other nagging fat regret called 'Wife'.
Note: This piece is not a work of fiction. Its based on true events and characters encountered in everyday life and may bear resemblance to you or those around you. The intention of author is not to de-mean not-so-fair half but to make them realize that a woman's love is not her weakness. Its her beauty and strength. Acknowledge. Appreciate. Treasure. Love survives with an honest team effort and not b/w us, as competitors. Irrespective of the century, essentials of life remain the same. We still desire honest love. Even when sleeping around seems like a norm, we detest disloyalty. We still need a man who's a rock-support but isn't stone-hearted. Your little caring gestures are the most exotic stuff on earth and your loving touch - the most erotic. We still desire you to differentiate b/w 'sex' and 'making love'. We don't need diamonds every time (once in a while is okay :D) but treasure us with subtlety. We might hate so many things about you, yet we convince ourselves they make you sexy. We don't question your importance to our lives so never question ours. We CAN take care of ourselves alone but none of us want to be that way coz we so want you to enjoy the beauty of companionship with us. We might be 'Single & Happy' on face book & twitter but we all wait for the ONE to sweep us off and make a nest. Someone to understand life and its essence, the delicate things around you that you would otherwise miss in those Aviators eying a hot chick. So c'mon, cross that line and do yourself a favor. Justify your manhood beyond just lust and lame excuses. Your chance to set it right is now. Or even God wouldn't care less.
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